A day in the life of an Ohioan turned New Yorker
Most of my life I have been that one in the corner, the abstract thinker, the eccentric, and the last one to get picked on the team. I am shy, backwards and twitchy. Yes my friends, I am awkward.

It all started in the fourth grade when my family moved to another school in the district. I was the token new kid that year and for some reason everyone was afraid of me. I was all of 4 foot nothing and a tad on the chubby side, what in the heck was there to be afraid of? It seemed like the hit game of the year was not teatherball, but make fun of the new kid in school. All I wanted was to fit in, but it seemed like the more I tried, the more I failed. I soon came to the realization that I was destined for a life of hiding behind a book.

This trend continued throughout middle school, junior high and high school. It's like I was invisible to the outside world. All I had was myself and my three other awkward friends. At least I was able to find two other people throughout the entire district who were similarly frowned upon. In my own little world, that was progress!

Through years of being the outcast, you tend to develop rather odd hobbies. For example, I was the only kid in youth orchestra. Half of the idiots I went to high school could not even name one section of the orchestra. I learned how to sew and I read about astronomy. How many tenth graders thought Sagan's Cosmos series was cool? I bet I was just about the only one....

Then I went to college and my life completely changed. For some reason the things that I was once frowned upon for were actually considered cool to my peers. I made so many friends it was hard to fit in school along with my social calendar. I hung out with the grad students when I was a freshman. I felt like the prom queen of the Kent State School of Music. During my tenure I even learned a new word that was once foreign in my lexicon; boyfriend.

Then I moved to NY.....

All of the sudden that shy little girl with the zits is back. I am socially inept. I think my coworkers don't know what to think of me. I eat lunch alone while the rest of them gossip about the teachers who aren't there. I refuse to gossip at my job. (Trust me ladies, I have put in my time as the queen of gossip elsewhere).

I have no idea how to get these people to realize I'm not a freak....I'm just from Ohio!

Comments
on Apr 12, 2005
I'm not the most qualified person to give advice about overcoming shyness and awkwardness. I have a horrible time making small talk. But it seems to me that you must have some common ground with these people, it's only a matter of finding it. Maybe you could talk about your students? Not necessarily their names, but most of the teachers I know have all sorts of anecdotes that they can tell. If people have kids, they usually will talk other people's ears off about them. If they grow comfortable talking with you about stuff they are comfortable talking about, maybe they won't find the things that interest you weird.
on Apr 12, 2005
carielf:
That sounds like a good common ground. hmmm...we might be onto something.
on Apr 12, 2005
old fart advice: this will pass as you grow more confident, confidence will come with LIVING LIFE. yer a good kid alison, take your time with life.
on Apr 12, 2005

One who has been there and done that Advice.

First, dump your prejudices.  Your other blogs are replete with them.  Second, accept you are a new comer.  We all are at some time.  Third, look for the good in others first.  The bad last.

Finally, enjoy la difference.  It is what makes us great and who we are.  I thank god that while I spent a lot of time in Ohio, I am not an Ohioan.  But I can relate to them, and all others.

because I accept who they are for what they are and do not try to change them to be who I am.

on Apr 12, 2005
Moderateman:
thanks for your advice and support! Your comments are always my ray of sunshine:)

Dr. Guy:
First off, what prejudices? I am a tad confused. If you could quote these prejudeces that would be helpful. It sounds like you are a tad prejudice lumping Ohioans into one category. I just refer to the NYers I have met....
on Apr 12, 2005
Ali~

When I first started at my school...all the other first grade teachers sat around a table and talked...and since there's 7 of us and I was always late, I was kind of the outcast. I sat at another table with the primary hearing impaired teacher, the PE teacher, and "shakey," a hypoglycemic third grade teacher (I still don't like her...she drives me up the wall). I've always felt like I'm just a loser teacher who got "placed" instead of hired, and that I'm completely incompetent next to the other ladies in my grade level...

Finally...I just said "screw it!" On the days when the hearing impaired teacher (who has come to be a great friend) can't eat with us, I just sit with the other first grade teachers. The veterans have a lot to offer me knowledge-wise, and frankly, if they think I'm stupid...it's THEIR faults for not answering the questions I'm asking. And to tell the truth...the times I've sat with them have been fine.

Just give yourself some time. Find ONE person that you've got common ground with and start from there. And know that you came in the middle of the year, too...and next year, you'll know what it's all about because you'll be the veteran around there.

And I commend you for not gossiping. I try to stay away from it, but with a grade level full of women...it's *tough*. You'll get there, girly. Give yourself a break!
on Apr 12, 2005

Dr. Guy:
First off, what prejudices? I am a tad confused. If you could quote these prejudeces that would be helpful. It sounds like you are a tad prejudice lumping Ohioans into one category. I just refer to the NYers I have met....

Speaking of the notion that any two baboons can have a baby, Britney Spears and her main squeeze are expecting their first kid.

I pitty the kid.....

7) Hollywood. Actually, I wish all of Southern California would just fall into the ocean. Unfortunatley, with all of the silicone, I think most of it would still float.

[quote}8) 90% of my Mother's side of the family. They are materialistic assholes. All of them except my Grandfather and my Mother. I really despise my idiot, airheaded, snobby cousins. SEE #2 and #3.

9) The fact that New Yorkers are so egocentric. GET OVER YOURSELVES AND THE FUCKING CITY!

10) When people ask me "what kind of horn do you play?" I play THE HORN. NOT THE FRENCH HORN. There is no such thing as the "French horn." Now it's time for your history lesson in brass pedagogy folks. The Germans actually invented the so-called "french horn". The french just modernized the horn design with valves. It is the horn, plain and simple. If you are really more concerned, ask me for my e mail.

Nuff said.

on Apr 12, 2005

I never lumped Ohioans into any category.

You lumped many others into pigeon holes.

By your own words.